Cyrus, a real (albeit fictional) man, would have a proper drink by his elbow. I’m getting by with what our Daru-walla calls a ‘Virtuous Sour’. He assures me it doesn’t have actual whisky in it, but some sort of clever (albeit fictional) alcohol made with botanicals and herbs. It’s very good, but it’s having the lamentable effect of keeping my head clear; or at least not making it more foggy than it generally is. A good friend who has recently given up drunkenness has taken to calling himself ‘sober-curious’. Like bi-curious. I like the phrase. It helps me believe that my sobriety is slightly racy, when plainly it is not.
Reader, I should acknowledge that you’re once again doing me the favour of sitting with me at the end of another year. It is, as you now know, a December habit of mine to think about the last twelve months. Not unusually (and, clearly, not uniquely) my own twelve months have seen joy and (intense) sadness. I’m still working on being at peace with it. I’m certainly spent and exhausted.
In the world, 2017 was an energetic successor to 2016. 2016 had been a weird one, hadn’t it? It unleashed all sorts of post-truth alt-right anger and mayhem that had been breeding for years. 2017 has enthusiastically followed through. I – like many – have been obsessively reading about recent events, trying sincerely to understand them, trying conscientiously to discern the patterns, trying earnestly to fathom what ‘should be done’. Doing so has left me somewhat exhausted and confused, unsure of what to think, how to respond.
This year, my father passed away. He was much too young to pass away, but he did. I lost my greatest friend, the best role-model and a mentor who was invariably right (of course, most so when I thought he was wrong). During the last months that he was with us, I had the enormous good fortune to spend days listening to him tell the stories of his life. I heard of his adventures as he and the rest of my family were forced out of home (I was not yet a year old). I heard of his strength and determination as a brave young entrepreneur rebuilding his life after the ground beneath his feet had completely shifted. I heard about the things he truly took pleasure in. One of the things he was most proud of was somehow finding himself as a much-loved swimming teacher to young children late in his life. He was utterly at peace, even in the knowledge that his time with us was suddenly curtailed.